matt-groff.com

Why do people act differently in public? Why does seeing someone outside of the normal surroundings of where you see them make it so different and exciting.

“OMG you’re wearing Jeans and you are at the mall where people go, OMFG… Holy crap… Are you going to buy something? ”

Uhm, is that necessary? Why are jeans, and public places special as opposed to work? I’m 10 feet from you for at least 40 hours a week and you don’t act like this? It’s all friggen TPS reports and meetings about meetings, wtf?

Oh, but it gets even worse. What about the car wave? You see someone you know in a car on the way to work, and they wave. Why? what is the purpose? I’m about to spend the next 8-10 hours with you, and you see me 10 minutes before that and you are all nuts, waving to mirrors and smiling and singing to your music?

“OMG you own a car?????? ME TOOOO and you drive? oh thats so awesome, do you put gas in your car? Do you use it to go places like work? and the grocery store? maybe the mall? I’ve never seen you at the mall, but if I did I’d freak out and be like, ‘OMFG you have jeans on!!!!!!! EEEEEK’ Does yours have a turn signal?”

Waving to someone in a car is like when you are purposely going somewhere to see some one, and you’ve done this before like 1,000 times, and you always get there the same time, and they are always expecting you, and you always just walk in, but for some reason, you call them 5 minutes before you get there and say, “OMG you have a house? I just came from a house, that’s so cool, wow a door, wow a sidewalk, this is awesome I’m going to cream my pants, ooops OMFG. Ok I’m here, ok I’m walking through your door, ok there you are, OMFG JEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!”

Shoots self in face.