Sue the birds.

January 27, 2009

The Hudson River miracle crash landing was nothing short of that, a miracle. The flight took off from La Guardia airport just outside New York City, circled around Manhattan and as it began circling the pilot reported that birds hit the engines and that he was going down. Now at this point the pilot claimed there was no way he could make it to any other airport, so instead of crashing into buildings in New York, the pilot somehow had the wherewithal to land the plane on the Hudson River.

All 150 passengers on the plane lived, not a single person was seriously injured. Some people had minor bumps and bruises, a scratch or a bloodied nose from the landing. In what was a freak accident, and in what could not have been avoided the pilot was able to somehow make the best of it.

Nothing wrong here right? Everyone got off the plane, maybe they lost some work or some personal effects. But they have their lives, they should be very thankful. Uhm, not so fast.

According to the Department of transportation, each passenger on a plane is entitled to up to $3,300 for bags that are checked. Carry-on bags are not covered unless they are stowed in an overhead compartment BY an airline employee.

Proactively, US Airways has sent an apology letter and $5,000 to each passenger on the plane. Not even knowing what each person may or may not have had on the plane, they are giving them $5,000 for living. These passengers survived what I can imagine was a horrible ordeal, yes, but at no fault of anyone but some stupid birds who happened to be flying right in the way of a friggen plane. If anything it is our fault, birds are supposed to fly, people aren’t.

US Airways has also said that they will be contacting passengers with an insurance agent to find out if they lost anything on the plane more than $5,000. So that’s covered there too.

But still, people who were on the plane are being reported as saying, “thanks, but no thanks.” Many have already contacted lawyers according to USATODAY.COM.

What the hell has this world come to? You are on a plane, some birds fly into the engines and take it down. Some friggen way the pilot pulls a miracle out his ass, lands on a river, 150 passengers and crew members are saved with MINOR scrapes and bruises and some lost luggage. US Airways sends you all $5,000 to cover immediate expenses and promises to have an insurance agent contact you in order to cover anything over that $5,000 that you may have lost and you are still contacting lawyers to sue.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? How does this happen, how do you sue an airline for something they have no control over? You don’t like the risk of being in a crash landing, or crashing and dying or turbulence or something? Don’t fly… or better off, sue the birds!

Thank you to USATODAY for the information in their article here: http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2009-01-26-us-airways-river-crash_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip


I missed the inauguration…

January 23, 2009

I missed the inauguration, I was at a client and had every intention of stopping work around noon to watch it on line, but I got tied up and just couldn’t get away. I had a chance later to read Obama’s full speech on line and then to watch parts of it later.

I really think that if Obama and Bush switched places. If Obama was the president for the last 8 years, and did everything that Bush did and had every policy that Bush had, but instead of speaking how Bush spoke and fumbling the words that Bush fumbled, that if he spoke how he speaks now; we’d have a more positive view of the president.

Sure, Bush did some horrible things, the lies, the wars, the crazy spending on defense, Gitmo, anti-abortion, the speaking to God, etc. Even if Obama did all those things, but if he delivers speeches like he does today, the view is completely different.

That was one of my biggest beefs with Bush was that he can’t speak to save his life. He always has a smirk on his face, he always sounds like he is trying to get something over on you. He never instilled confidence in this nation. Never during Bush’s presidency did I feel like he was going to take care of things. I always felt like, “the sky is falling we have to take precautions we have to do this omg it’s overwhelming.”

But Obama, is just so different. When he speaks, I listen. I get hopeful. I want things to happen. I want to make things happen. Obama could tell me my entire family is going to die, but his delivery would make me thankful that they lived a full and happy life, and that they weren’t suffering.

Obama’s inauguration speech makes me proud to be an American again. It makes me happy that we live in the most powerful country in the world, and that with him at the helm we might actually use this power for good. I didn’t get that with Bush.

We’ve entered a very important and meaningful time in this country’s history and I’m happy Obama is at the helm. I finally get this feeling like we have a chance to make a difference as a nation, a good difference a positive affect on this country and that with him leading the way it will no doubt happen.


Matt versus the Bathroom

January 16, 2009

The other day I was checking the stats on search terms leading people here and the number one search phrase for that day was; “Guy shit his pants.” I don’t know if that’s hilarious or insulting. Either way I guess I should play to my audience.

Since I was young I’ve always had issues with the bathroom. Not necessarily problems going, jeez no. And I don’t crap my pants all too often and I didn’t pee the bed. But I seem to always have issues with being in a bathroom.

When I was 7 or 8 my family was getting ready to go from our home to my grandparents to go swimming. We had all our stuff packed up at the door and were almost gone. All of a sudden I had to go. So I go to our bathroom just outside the kitchen. While I’m in there doing my business I hear everyone getting their stuff and going out the door. I yell out, “hello?” no one answers. I yell a little louder, “HELLO?!?!?!” again, no one answers. I quick pull up my pants, neglecting to button them and run out the bathroom towards the door. “Oh no they forgot me!!!!” I’m thinking.

I get towards the door and my mom comes back in, my pants are all but at my ankles and I’m screaming. She gives me one look and just laughs. I start crying I thought they were leaving without me. From now on when I have to go to the bathroom, I tell someone. No more taking the risk of being left.

When I was in High School I was on the newspaper. We used to have to stay late and lay it out and everything. One night we were there late setting up an issue and I had to go. So I go out to the bathroom near the room and it’s closed they are cleaning it. So I walk to the other end of the building to go. I get in there, do my business and I hear a knock on the door… “Anyone in there.” I recognize the voice, it’s the janitor. “YES!” I yell back . Then I hear this clicking, and a bolt locking. Damnit, did he lock the door? I finish up, wash my hands and try to go out the door. Nothing it’s locked. I kneel down to the vent at the bottom of the door and start yelling, “Hello, anyone there?!?!?” Of course not, I’m on the complete opposite side of the building from where anyone else is. I yell again, almost screaming at the top of my lungs at this time. “HELLO!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!?!?!?!?!?” At least 5-10 minutes pass by, no one is even remotely close. This is before Cell phones are popular, or even affordable so I can’t call anyone to come let me out. Finally I hear a voice outside, it’s the janitor. I yell again, and he comes to the door and unlocks it.

He asks me, “How’d you get in there?” I say, “I was in there when you locked it, I yelled YES when you asked.”

“Oh” he says, “I didn’t hear you…” No shit.

Back in like 2004 I went to a concert with like 20 bands, OAR, Beastie Boys, Ben Harper, Weezer, just like tons of awesome bands. Before going into the concert I was getting hammered in the parking lot. I was really drunk, it was a huge festival, people had food, beer, more food, liquor. I played beer pong with Rum and Cokes, I threw football and ran patterns in flip flops. It was awesome. Well, during all of my fun I started feeling sick, I had to use the bathroom. My stomach was killing me. So I get into this port-o-john and I do what I gotta do… But guess what, No Toilet paper. I’m not going to even describe what happened in there prior to my discovering the lack of TP. I’m hovering over the seat, trying not to touch anything. I have no idea what to do. It’s 100 friggen degrees in this thing, I’m sweating my ass off and I need something to clean up with. Finally I get the bright idea to use my boxers to clean up, so I some how get my shorts off  by slipping my feet out of my flip flops and standing on my tip toes balancing on my flops.

I put my shorts over my shoulder while I take off my boxers and take care of the clean up. Then I Manuever my shorts back on and go to my concert. I’ve NEVER chaffed so much in my life.

The last story I’m going to tell you happened recently. I’m not going to say where it happened, just that it was a business that I was at and I was doing work for. I had been up early that morning and it threw my system all off , I wasn’t feeling well. So I go into the bathroom and do my business, get done with everything and I go to flush… It doesn’t go down. Oh my, what now? I try to flush again and it just fills up with water. I notice there is a plunger next to the toilet so I start plunging away. I’m waiting to hear the whoosh sound but nothing. It’s been 10-15 minutes that I’m in there now plunging away. Finally some of the water starts to go down, so I flush again…. NOTHING!!!! I plunge some more and try again, and it just fills up. At this point I’ve been in the bathroom for 30 minutes. I’ve just cost this company $50 to use the mens room and plunge their toilet. I just say screw it, put the plunger back, wash my hands and leave a nice little surprise in the toilet.

I mean I did what I could, but I’m costing this place a ton of money to plunge their toilet, they pay cleaning people to do that kinda stuff and not $100 an hour. I did the right thing? Right? I mean it’s not like I left them an upper decker, I put a valient effort in to clean up and it just didn’t happen. Oh well.

I’m sure I have many more toilet humor stories to tell but can’t think of them right now. I’m also sure I’ll lose some followers and readers, but oh well…


Circuit City bankrupt? I know why!

January 9, 2009

I’m a huge fan of SirusXM Satellite Radio. I first got my radio in 2005 and I’ve been listening to it daily since then. Whether in my car, or at work I can listen to Howard Stern, Alternative and Grunge from my teen years, or even some great Classic Rock. It has much more than that, but those are the stations I listen to.

About 3 months ago, my radio broke. The face of it started to melt away, and finally the antenna just died on me. Luckily my brother has a newer radio that he wasn’t using because of the new FCC rules that the Sirius FM transmitter was too strong, so his stereo couldn’t pick up the signal clearly thus he received a ton of interference.

He could of had the radio installed, for a $40 part and an installation of $80 he just didn’t think it was worth it. Especially since his commute is 2 miles each way. So I took his radio, I’m in the car a lot and love the radio… $120 or whatever is fine with me.

I picked up his radio and tried to install it myself. Ran the new antenna outside my car, hooked it up inside and turned it on…. Ahhh it works, but I’m getting the same static he was getting, so I determine that I must get the FM Modulator and the professional install. Also after a day or so the antenna goes on the fritz. This is where Circuit City comes in.

One Saturday when I have time I call circuit city and ask them a few questions.

Me: “How much is the install of Satellite radio in a 2005 VW GTI?”

CC: “Depends on the type of install, do you need an FM modulator? Do you need the power to connect directly to the radio? Do you have these parts?”

Me:”I need the FM modulator and I have a thing so I can plug in multiple things. How long does it take and when can I come in?”

CC:”About an hour and a half, and whenever it’s first come first serve. It is empty now.”

Me:”Ok great, I’m on my way over now, I’ll see you soon.”

CC:”Ok thanks.”

I arrive at circuit city about 30 minutes later and find a sales associate. I tell him I need an FM modulator and I need it installed. He leads me over to the Sirius section looks around and says, “We don’t have the FM modulator.” It would  have been nice to know this on the phone, I could have still ordered it then. The sales guy says, “We do have this tape that you can use, it works the same.” So I buy the tape deck for $34 and Pay for the install. The install was $39 plus a $4 random shop charge. I pull my car around, I get the car in the garage and speak to the installer.

Me: “Hi I paid for this install, I have the parts in the car, could you look at my antena, I think it’s also bad.”

The guy goes in and looks at my antenna, pulls it out extends it, and says; “You’re right, it’s bad we can get you a new one.”

He leaves to go get a new antenna, only to return minutes later and say; “We haven’t received Sirius or XM parts in over a month.”

Wish I would have known this before I scheduled the install, oh well. So I order the antenna for another $35 and after 45 minutes I am on my way, out $118 and still no Sirius. I do discover that the tape extension works for my iPhone so I can use that for now.

Over a month and a half pass and finally I get a call telling me my order is in. I make time the weekend before Christmas. I fight the traffic, I really want this thing installed. I pull around back so I’m next to the garage and then I walk up front to pick up my part. After looking for it for about 5 minutes they bring a part up, and it is the wrong one. They ordered me the FM modulator. I ask them to get someone from the Car Shop so I can get the right part. I explain to him that the previous guy ordered the wrong part, that I need the antenna. He looks at my receipt says, “That’s not what it says here.” I say, “I know, he ordered the wrong part, I need the antenna.” He goes off, finds the part and comes back.” I decide, ok I’ll pay for the FM modulator as well because it’s better sound etc. So there is another $39.

I go back to the garage tell them I want it installed, he says; “Well it’s lunch time, so two guys are going now, and then the other two will go when they get back and we have these 3 cars here plus 3 more then yours. So it will be a few hours.”

At this point, I’m just sick and tired of waiting for this, they don’t have parts, they don’t have time. I would have to wait as I didn’t arrange a ride. So I decide that after Christmas I’ll bring it back.

Christmas comes and goes, a week or two pass and I decide, it’s time I need my sirius. I drive to Circuit City again, park out back. Walk all the way around front, go into the back and tell the guy I want this installed, how long. He says, well about 2.5 hours. Fine with me, I have a ride, I have things to do, I can drop it off and return later. I give him my receipt and he says; “You have a basic install here, and you want the FM modulator?”

Me: “Yes I say, I bought all this and paid for it already. I don’t need the power hooked up cause I have an extender.”

Guy: “Well if you want the FM modulator, it’s $26 extra because we have to open up the radio to install it.”

Me: “Why wasn’t I told this when I was sold the modulator.”

Guy: “I don’t know, but if we hook the power into the back of the radio, we have to open it up anyhow so we can hook the modulator up as well. This way you have your power adapter open and the radio turns on automatically.”

Me:”How much is that?”

Guy: “Well it would be $40 more than what you already paid. “

Me: “Fine, do it.”

So he rings me up, puts the car in and says he will call when it’s done in 2.5 hours.

Four hours pass, no call. It’s 6pm and I know the roadshop closes soon. So I call, and the guy on the phone says, “About 20 minutes, so you can leave now.”

I start getting ready to go and my phone rings again, it’s the guy who installed it. “The radio is installed. It will be a little extra because we had to use a separate part.”

Me: “I’m not paying extra, you should have called to tell me it needed and extra part. I’ve spent way too much on this already. You order the wrong parts, you take 4 hours instead of 2.5 like you said, you can’t give me a good time, you don’t tell me about parts and installs I need. I’m coming to get my car.” I hang up.

When I get there, the installer is no where to be found, I go to the garage ask for my car. I sign some document, get my key and I’m off… No extra payment.

So two months later, $189 and like 60 miles of driving, I get my Sirius installed. I must say it works great, looks good but that cost that hassle, that horrible customer service, no wonder they are going out of business.


Sometimes you just can’t hold it. Shart attack!

January 5, 2009

Now we’ve all had it, all of a sudden our stomachs hurt, you gotta go, but you can’t get to the bathroom fast enough. It’s happened to all of us, and it’s funny when it is not us. Well today I was in class, studying along, I was actually doing well, making some progress in my Lab book, when all of a sudden I hear this… “Oh Jesus, Oh No!” Behind me a guy gets up and half walks half runs out of the room.

No more than 10 seconds later this WAVE of rotten eggs, bad turkey, bad hamburger, dead rat hits me… I’m about to scream “Oh Jesus, Oh No!” I hold my breath and leave the room to keep from passing out.

After a few minutes I return to my seat and the smell has dissipated mostly, there is a bit lingering in the air but it’s bearable. I get back to work and some time passes, I’m about halfway done with the work I wish to complete and I notice out of the corner of my eye, the gentleman who left previous to the smell overtaking the room, has returned. And with him, is a vague resemblance of the smell.

Either this guy shit his pants and is carrying a biscuit in his shorts, or he keeps almost sharting and is killing us slowly. I expect him to gather up his shit (pun intended) and leave to go change from his poop pants. No, he sits in his seat, puts his headphones on and starts typing away again. At this point half the room of about 10 people, has noticed something is up.

Why is he back? Is he trying to hide the fact that he shit his pants? Maybe he figures if he sits for a bit, then leaves we won’t know it’s him? I’ve done that before, Shart my pants and sat there with shifty eyes until someone else gets up then I get up and run to the bathroom to clean my draws. It works every time, or at least I think it does. But this guy obviously crapped himself, got up and ran to the bathroom to clean his boxers, then thought he could pull a fast one on us all and return to class to make a sneak escape.

Not so fast. We all continue on, people come, people go, about 20 minutes passes and the smell is still lingering… He’s still here, then all of a sudden he gets up, and leaves the room… But he didn’t gather his stuff, hmmm. A few minutes pass, and he’s back again…so is the smell rotten eggs.

At this point, people are leaving, it’s taken over the entire room. I have a goal to reach so I can’t leave. Besides the shitter just 3 other people exist. I wind down my time there, and finish up… I leave about an hour and a half after the shart takes place and he is still there… Letting that stench fester in his pants. I wish I had a better ending, but I just don’t.

 

Sprint is WAY behind the curve… Have you seen those commercials with CEO Dan Hesse walking around, or having a cup of joe and its all black and white and dramatic with violins in the background… Yeah, good commercials, seriously if they were about 2 years ago. Did you ever think you could surf the web, check your email and update your facebook status right from your phone? Uhm, yes Dan we have, when the iPhone came out in 2007. So how about you go away. And don’t get me wrong Dan is a good guy, I used to work for his company before the Embarq split, and he has them going in a good direction, the merger with Nextel was great especially to corner the market on hicks and constructions workers who love to draw attention to their phones that are larger than a normal phone, chirp chirp, HELLOOOOO? UGH

 

Pizza Hut still hasn’t been sued for the panormous debacle, wtf is up with this?!!?!? I don’t eat pizza hut, otherwise I’d do it… This may be worth a trip there to scarf down a pizza then yell at them cause it’s gone. I thought it was neverending?!?!?!?!

Someone finally used the contact page to get in touch with me, thanks. I’m learning out to play the guitar that I got for Christmas, I can play “Ode to Joy” and “Aura Lee.” I haven’t started playing chords yet, just the first 3 strings… It’s a start.

I’m looking for a web developer for a client of mine. Must have experience with commercial website design and online purchasing through credits cards. NOT PAY PAL. If you have this kind of experience, let me know via the contact page or email. It’s a pretty great place to work, and will be a long term account… Thanks!