Prop 8 vs Common Sense

May 27, 2009

One thing that has always bugged me is people who lack common sense. Certain thoughts, ideals, and actions shouldn’t have to be thought about or even debated, some things just make sense… Or so they are supposed to just make sense.

Proposition 8 in California banning gay marriage is absolutely absurd and I’m embarrassed that it is even a question whether or not two people of the same sex should be able to marry… OF COURSE THEY SHOULD!

Now I’m not gay, I’m the furthest thing from gay. The idea of another man naked or anything like that kind of freaks me out a little bit. I wouldn’t mind two women together, that’s absolutely fine with me. Maybe I’m a little close minded to it, but really my position on gay men has no effect on my position on gay marriage.

Opponents to gay marriage charge that a marital union should be between a man and a woman. Really? where does it say that? Oh it says it in the bible? Ok… that’s fine. If you want to live by a book that was written in different parts between about 2000 and 4000 years ago, ok that makes sense, because things haven’t changed since then?

Let me also bring to your attention that the bible also regularly makes points that women are inferior to men, for example: Genesis 3:16, Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Also, take note of, 1 Corinthians 14:34-36, Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

So you want to base your life and your ideals of marriage off of a book which basically states women are to serve their man and that women are not allowed to speak in church. Sounds fair to me right? I can understand living your life by the word of Christ, sure that’s fine with me to live by the ten commandments and to be all without sin and everything. And I’m fine in you believing in a God and that he sees all and that his son died some 2000 plus years ago for your sins, then rose 3 days later etc etc etc. Yeah, I’ll let you get away with that, I think we all need to believe in some sort of higher power, and for some if that’s all you can do to get through the day, so be it. And sure you might fight the above two quotes with some of your own, but really do you want to argue that you are following a book that so clearly has conflicting view points?

But don’t let an archaic book rule your life, it’s asinine. Gay marriage should be legal, and all you bible thumpers need to remember something here. God’s law may call for a marriage between a man and a woman, and you can believe that all you want. So two men can’t get married at a church with a priest and be married according to the bible and church and everything. You can have that, I won’t fight you there. But to say that two men can’t get married by the law according to the United States of America is completely contradictory to everything the US of A stands for.

When it doesn’t appease us it is so easy to forget the constitution and the bill of rights, but it’s absolutely apparent here that we are reminded that Amendment #1 of the constitution clearly states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;” Do you understand what that means? It means that no law can be passed that would respect in any sort of way the laws of any sort of religion, that we can choose whatever religion we wish to follow. So if my big gay god wants to allow some homosexuals to get married so be it, I don’t have to give a crap what your God thinks. We must also remember that when a state joins the USA, that state agrees to not pass any laws which conflict with the constitution and all of it’s amendments.

So a law banning Gay marriage, in respect to the christian church that claims that marriage should be between a man and a woman is unconstitutional. Now I know all you right wing religious nuts are ok with bending the laws of our constitution just like your favorite son George W. Bush was. But people who actually respect the highest laws of our country and who actually live by them, see their value, and respect their meaning, and are ok with gay marriage.

And what really contradicts everything is that those same right wing fanatics, who oppose gay marriage and who will oppose this blog entry, which is also protected by amendment #1, are the ones who vehemently stand by amendment #2 the right to bear arms.

I’m sorry folks, you can’t pick and choose the amendments of the constitution that you want to follow, this is not an a la carte of laws. You either follow them all or you move to Canada, where gays can get married, at least they have it correct up there.

So California, you got it wrong. Gay marriage is fine, it hurts no one. Equal protection by law, for all. As we approach the July 4th holiday in just over a month, and we celebrate the Signing of the Declaration of Independence, we should live by it’s most ominous verbiage, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Yes, that includes the Gays.

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Posted by Matt Groff

Jon and Kate plus Eight…plus me.

May 26, 2009

It was reported to me by someone who follows the TV world that the Jon & Kate plus 8 season premiere drew 9.8 million viewers. This is in comparison to the 9.2 million that the lost season finale drew. How and the hell is that possible? Two nobodies from Central Pennsylvania who just so happened to dumb luck fall into a batch of sextuplets draw almost 10 million people? More than a billion dollar over produced show that is considered one of the top 50 dramas of all time. Please tell me this is not the start of Octomom types starting television shows, I cannot handle it.

We have become a culture of drones, who’s lives are so incredibly blase we entertain ourselves on the real life misery of others. Where a couple of parents who are undergoing marital problems; while the lives of eight children under the age of eight hang in the balance, is our best form of entertainment. This my friends, drew 19.6 million eyes. We should be ashamed of ourselves. And the fact that I was somewhat disappointed when the TiVO missed the final minutes because the show ran over, I’m more so ashamed.

I pride myself on pointing out the absurdity of human life and our inevitable stumbles into the absurd, and here I am a 28 year old heterosexual male, upset that the damn TiVO missed the end of Jon and Kate plus eight. Please excuse me while I dig my left eye out with a tea spoon.

What is our obsession with the tragedy that is human life? How can we be so drawn to the falling out of this couple who in all honesty probably wasn’t ready to be thrust into the television lime light. The previous high ratings for this show was 4.6 million. So now the paparazzo are in Central Pennsylvania, I didn’t know we even had a paparazzo in Pennsylvania.

I have an idea to boost their ratings even more… Let me bang Kate. Now I’m not saying she’s attractive, I mean for a 34 year old mother of eight, she’s not bad. And it will probably be the worst sex of my life, after passing six of those kids through the vag I’m sure it more resembles the grand canyon than anything remotely sexy. I’ll have to tie a board to my ass to keep from falling in. But I can see the headlines now, “Kate gets back at Jon, cheats with 28 year old IT consultant, hilarity ensues.”

I want to be on that show. I want to watch the kids… I’d tie them all together at the arms and fasten them to a tree. No need to worry, I don’t think Jon & Kate have taught the kids the tactile function of untying a knot. Then I’d march upstairs, give Jon something shiny to play with, before I seduce Kate, telling her that she’s a good mother, and that thrusting the eight children into the limelight is a wonderful way to mold them into productive members of society. Don’t yell at us when they turn into the next Britney Spears and Corey Haim.

After complimenting Kate on her parenting skills, I’d mount her, perching myself upon her stretch mark laden body, thrusting for about 30 seconds in the dark before my over active imagination of Blake Lively breasts get the best of me and despite reciting the 2009 Minnesota Twins lineup in my head, I prematurely ejaculate. Sure, I may have to bury her face in a pillow or use a ball gag to shut her up, as she talks way too much. She’s like one of those college professors, who just loves to hear themselves talk and doesn’t care who’s ears are being polluted. 

Then we have next season’s premiere of Jon and Kate plus 8 and 1 bastard. Personally, after watching the show for maybe one hour total in my life, if Jon did cheat on her, I don’t blame him… not one bit… I’d do it too if she was my wife. I really hope they work it out, I hope that for the kids sake the parents are able to overcome being the center of attention for once and focus on what is important in life, your children and not a fucking television show which has lead to the ruination of your marriage.

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Posted by Matt Groff

People watching.

May 20, 2009

In order to qualify for the loan for my new home I had to take these new home buyer classes provided by a local home opportunity group. Four classes each two and a half hours, they were a complete waste of time… but I was able to people watch… here is what went through my mind.

This is absolutely pointless.

Biggest waste of time ever.

I am learning nothing.

I want to stab myself in the eye. (Mind you this is now 6:30pm and the class started at 6pm)

I wonder if she [the instructor] would mind if I fell asleep?

That guy is 65, how is he buying his first home now? He’ll die just from the process.

I hate “Miss been there, done that .” Oh you have a fucking binder, you God Damn blow hard.

She’s still talking?!?!?

No don’t close the window I’m trapped.

HAHAHAHA you don’t fit in the seat.

I’d rather have explosive diarrhea.

I’d rather wax my taint.

I’d rather swallow bugs.

He’s wearing a lavender shirt.

This instructor thinks she is better than everyone else, God I hate lame jokes.

The girl with the binder is a suck up.

Oh I love the person who shakes her head up and down left and right like she’s following every word as if it was the word of scripture.

She has a really strong opinion of herself.

Whispy Mexican moustache, lol.

I can’t believe she made a binder for your home buying.

I’m opening the window back up, fuck off.

That’s a biiiig bitch, four rolls? Wow… I mean I know some can’t help it but my goodness. She doesn’t need to buy a house, she is a house.

She has take out menus in her purse. Menus, plural, more than one.

I’m 35 feet away and I can see her pock marks.

God damn star pupil, “I pay off my credit cards every month.” I’d like to uppercut you in the butthole.

Bless her heart for bringing cookies, but they were the worst cookies I’ve ever had. I now have the shits.

Not a looker in the group.

I really think that old lady is drunk.

This huge lady is trying to sneak around in flip flops. It’s like an elephant walking through a mouse trap factory.

She looks like she smells.

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Posted by Matt Groff

Love…Spring

May 2, 2009

There is something to be said for spring, the season with so much promise. The weather is perfect, not too hot not too cold. When sweaters and snow boots give way to flip flops and halter tops. A first peak outside is rewarded with the smell of pollen and fresh fallen rain instead of salt and exhaust.

But spring brings complexity, an uncertainty of ideals mostly… Although the weather is perfect, there is a definite confusion abound. From one day to the next there is no doubt a miss match of likes and dislikes of the wind and rain or sun and humidity. At least that is the culture of climate in the North East.

But the smell of dew in the morning replaces all that is wrong with the winter. When the average temperature rises above 50 degrees and the high is a daily 60, you cannot beat that.

Maybe that’s why they say spring is in the air and love is abound? New relationships literally begin from out of no where. The pollen twinges the nostrils and excites the hormones, encouraging procreation of all sorts.

From first pitches to fresh cut lawns everything points to new beginnings, everyone’s team is in it from the start and everyone’s heart is out there for the taking. Well, sort of.

It gives us all a chance to re-evaluate where our lives have taken us and where they might be going. We take stock of our haves and have nots. Some of us are fortunate  enough to have a little more than others, we shall be humbled by it.

Enjoy the spring, enjoy the new love if you’re lucky enough to find it, and if you already have love you know how lucky you once were… wallow in it.

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Posted by Matt Groff